Samstag, 11. April 2009
Freitag, 10. April 2009
Forget Berlin...
Learning the lesson of my last desaster in Amsterdam, I prepared my next potential trip to Berlin in much more detail - thank god, would have been a disaster! Here the 10 reasons why non-romantics shouldn't spend a weekend in Berlin:
- Wetter will be too perfect for a sIghtseeing weekend (at least until 15.4, why shouldnt it last)
- Castle Charlottenburg in Spring is really the last place to go – to impressive, surroundings too green, and then the lake – forget it
- Brandenburger Gate breathes so much history that you feel like in a dusty museum, and you want to use the sprouting trees as feather duster
- The largest German opera house, Deutsche Oper Berlin, is giving a performance of La Traviatta – my god, what a combination, snobby wanna-be-in-the-upper-10.000 people and Verdis piece for the hopeless romantic…
- KDW – just by definition a shopping mall is hell on earth for every straight guy, if it is then the oldest, biggest, most exclusive and renown in Central Europe you feel like you’ve arrived in Dante’s most inner circle…
- If you’ve managed to pass shoe and handbag departments (not many can say that) and you want to escape to the upper floors, real evil awaits: Most delicious food and sweets mankind can endure.
- Kreuzberg, renown as the “date-hill”, where you drown in physical affection and suffocate on pheromones – never, NEVER take your date their after a nice dinner on a beautiful evening!
- Kolhoff-tower – if you got there, go there alone. The splendid view might provoke your company to lay Berlin to your feet, as a gift – beware of that!
- If you have managed to survive the above mentioned entrapments, don’t feel to safe, that’s what Berlin wants you too – but the biggest monster still awaits you, the nightlife. Don’t dare to enter Prenzlauer Berg-area, or abandon all hope!
- And finally, the biggest pitfall of all is if Berlin and your travel companion téam up – take a beautiful and interesting girl there and you are doomed (same applies vice-versa, with different categories of course)!
- Wetter will be too perfect for a sIghtseeing weekend (at least until 15.4, why shouldnt it last)
- Castle Charlottenburg in Spring is really the last place to go – to impressive, surroundings too green, and then the lake – forget it
- Brandenburger Gate breathes so much history that you feel like in a dusty museum, and you want to use the sprouting trees as feather duster
- The largest German opera house, Deutsche Oper Berlin, is giving a performance of La Traviatta – my god, what a combination, snobby wanna-be-in-the-upper-10.000 people and Verdis piece for the hopeless romantic…
- KDW – just by definition a shopping mall is hell on earth for every straight guy, if it is then the oldest, biggest, most exclusive and renown in Central Europe you feel like you’ve arrived in Dante’s most inner circle…
- If you’ve managed to pass shoe and handbag departments (not many can say that) and you want to escape to the upper floors, real evil awaits: Most delicious food and sweets mankind can endure.
- Kreuzberg, renown as the “date-hill”, where you drown in physical affection and suffocate on pheromones – never, NEVER take your date their after a nice dinner on a beautiful evening!
- Kolhoff-tower – if you got there, go there alone. The splendid view might provoke your company to lay Berlin to your feet, as a gift – beware of that!
- If you have managed to survive the above mentioned entrapments, don’t feel to safe, that’s what Berlin wants you too – but the biggest monster still awaits you, the nightlife. Don’t dare to enter Prenzlauer Berg-area, or abandon all hope!
- And finally, the biggest pitfall of all is if Berlin and your travel companion téam up – take a beautiful and interesting girl there and you are doomed (same applies vice-versa, with different categories of course)!
A. Nónimo
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